Monday, May 26, 2014

On Turning 45


I turned 45.

Is that mid-life?

Or is 50 mid-life?

Regardless, the way I see it, I have like 50+ more years to live, so I need to make the most of it.

I'm more focused on living life to it's fullest than I have ever been at any other time in my life. Getting older makes you realize how valuable and truly short life is. The World seems to spin faster as each year passes.

There has been much reflection in my life as of late, is that a mid-life crisis setting in? Nope -- I see no crisis, and I refuse to "see everything and yet decide nothing". I see no inaction in my future, I see much vitality.

So I shall reflect.
We should all reflect from time to time,
Yes, that's what I shall do!

I have never been so comfortable in my own skin, as I am now that I'm in my 40's.
I actually LIKE me!

Seeing 45 pass me by and being ever so slightly in my rear view mirror, I am reminded that there is a fine line between living the life I truly want to live and being seen as self centered. I don't want to be seen as a self centered person, but I also believe that my life is mine to live, mine and only mine.

So I have learned the fine art of "Being true to myself"
What does that EVEN MEAN?? Being true to ones self?

As we travel on the ride called life, we often get caught up in being a partner, in being a parent and in being a child, yes... a child. A daughter or a son... An adult child, but a child nonetheless, and as we get caught up in our "titles" we often lose ourselves. In saying that, I will stress, "We do not ever 'find' ourselves, in life we are responsible for creating ourselves". We are responsible for who we become, we are responsible for being true to ourselves, even when we carry our many titles of obligation.

Being true to myself means listening to my "6th sense", it means if something "Doesn't feel right", I'm not going to do it -- It means I don't need to explain myself -- It means that I will not chase anyone and ask them to be part of my life -- It means I will continue to educate myself on matters of the heart, the mind and the body -- It means that I will take care of my physical body -- It means that I will talk kindly to myself -- It means being positive, patient and persistent -- It means that I will not allow another human being to humiliate, talk down to or treat me poorly -- It means that I am enough, I do not ever need to find my identity or self worth from another person. I am enough -- It means I will not apologize for who I am -- It means I will be the best "me" I can be -- It means that no matter how much time it takes, I will follow my dreams. Because you know what? The time is going to pass anyway! I might as well be working towards the things that truly make me happy!

Just because I know how to be true to myself doesn't mean I never feel "down" or even down right depressed. I have recently gone through a break up and it has left me feeling "eh"... I have wanted to roll in sugar and salt and feel sorry for myself. And you know what? That's okay! It's okay to feel sorry for ourselves once in awhile, it's okay to get down, it's okay to eat a whole bag of cookies in 10 minutes... What isn't okay? It's not okay to do that every day! Being the best person I can be doesn't mean I won't have the blah days, it means I take them, put on my fat stretchy pants, put in a chick flick and eat chocolate. Yep... That's exactly what it means. After that... Get back on track. Focus. Focus. Focus.

As our children fly the nest, as we go through the emotions of not being needed by our offspring, and as we decide what to do with the next 40, 50 or 60 years of our lives.
We need to know what brings us the most contentment, what brings us joy. What makes us happy?

What makes me happy?

My top 10 Happy
Being a mother and spending time with my family makes me happy.
Helping other people makes me happy.
Working with children makes me happy.
Travel (Especially to The United Kingdom) makes me happy.
Helping to save the environment makes me happy.
Spending time with friends makes me happy.
Exercise makes me happy.
Finding creative ways to recycle makes me happy.
Blogging and Writing makes me happy.
Capturing life through photography and recording it, makes me happy.

I know who I am, I'm okay with who I am. I'm an imperfect, slightly boisterous, curvy, funny, intelligent woman that is looking forward to many more years of life!

All in all, turning 45 wasn't so bad.
It's going to be a great year!

45... BRING IT! I've so got this!